i noe i didn’t post anything for so long edy..!?
Paiseh!
coz really dunno what to share and my blur was so blur and blank..
totally have no idea wad to do..! hmm,,
i’ve got so many things happen on me, but don’t know how to say in here,
so!! days goes on..
and my smile getting weak.. sense like fake smile..
Haha,,
::i straignten my hair
::my spiritually are getting to the end
::youth camp photos (as i had promisses to you)
::my groups gathered at my house
::Nick Vujicic ( a evangelist meeting)
::Tang Lan Hua and Ritchell Lim (evangelist meeting also)
::Karmen birthday celebration (until now haven post)
::My birthday CAKE (haha)
::End up my relationship
::my Summer Sem, mid term exam
::my Last semester result
::my colledge friends and I
::going to serve in doulas ship in this 30 and 31 december

i think thats all,
There are a lot of things happen on me,
and i don’t know how to handle it, seriously…
Coz im so weak currently..
in my spiritually and in many ways also!
i just don’t no how to handle it..
and when i open my blog i was like.. my mind is whole blank..
i should describe it as white white or black black de lerh..!?
i really don’t know la!
Brothers and sister, pray for me ya!
hehe

“end”

我要回来, 我要回到神的家..
很多日子以来我不知道我对神的心意是怎样的..
一直都是这样, 之前我对神的心是很渴幕..
可是渐渐的,我也不知道什么时候开始
我对神的心不如同从前了.
当然,我自己也不知道,也不理会,也不认真..
因为来的时候我没有紧紧的把握住..
所以失去了..也没有感觉..

后来, 我有时候祷告..!
心里面好像有一块重石头,让我不知道要怎样开口..
我向神祷告的时候, 心里面就是有一种感觉…
感觉神没有听到我的祷告..
我很清楚的知道祂有听到,可是心里面就是有一种没有安全感..!
我也没有去深思自己为什么会这样…

就这样过了很久..! 甚至我自己也不知道过了多久….
渴幕神的心,坦白说我不知道那是什么样的感觉了…
我很难过我没有这种感觉, 可是我难过我却不会哭..?!
因为平时我都会哭,,
可是现在问题是我很难过可是我好像逼自己难过,,
要别人来可怜

在上个星期六, 我一样的去祷告会..
我心理想说,我今天要为着什么祷告呢..?
因为感觉上我似乎好像没有什么好祷告吔..
头脑就是很空白的…什么都没有.
然后就唱阿唱阿..跟着教会的音乐唱阿唱..
唱到了几首歌后,我就心理想说..
嗯,今天就我为的心祷告吧!
因为星期五Pastor Jay Koopman 才说要粉碎我们的心..
也刚好可以为这件事祷告..!
结果…..

我就真的打从心理面哭出来了…
眼泪一滴一滴的掉..
那时,牧师刚好走上台带领祷告..
我也感觉到那时神的灵大大的来到!
我很惊讶…坦白说,,
因为当我谦卑在神的时候, 事情就照着我所愿的成就了..
Amen?!
很感动…
可是我又害怕..
我怕这个火在哪一天又熄灭了..
但愿这个火不要熄灭, 在我的心理一直一直的燃烧..
燃烧到我见我阿爸父的面为止..
Amen?!

i never imagined that my brother will went to Kl working..
i never think of that he dispersed with us..
i never think of he can be so brave to go their alone..
Is something great that he can be brave and independence..
i was proud of him,,

i don’t know how i feel at first, even i met him with just a glance…
i didn’t really say goodbye to him, coz im still at school and i need to do my assignment also..!
i really can’t believe it…
it is good but somehow at the same time i feel sad too…

he’s been living with us since i was born, and we never separate with each other..
when i was young i like to scold him just as my sister did today..
i hate him when i was little girl.. and now when i think back it sounds of “sour”…
cause i never bother what he trying to say…
and i even scared he walking with me when we are out together with family,
i feel so embarrass on that time..
i just don’t know why my parents give birth to this kind of child..
maybe it sounds like i am so ruthless but this is all my past…
and i regret for my attitude..
i just needa to say sorry to him,,

hopefully when he is at KL, he can learned something new and learned how to survive when we are not beside him..
he have to be independent one day..
he have to learned to survive without us one day..
there is so much thing that he need to learned…

maybe a lot of you may say..
what a cruel family, why send my own brother to KL!
is because one day, every of his family will die one day..
what if we died earlier before him then how he wanted to survive..?!
will you help us to take care of him.
will you give him food to eat.
will you give him money without any reciprocate?!

NO ONE

that is why i believe..!
everyone will feel sad of him,
but he will coming back home one day..
celebrate chinese new year with us..
and everything..

when the first time he went to kl with my brother.. in the airplane

this photo is taken from my brother.. adn this picture is taken in my room.

and last picture before he attend his last class in Kuching, for now la.
my brother blog.second brother

My sis and I went to young adult’s camp last Friday.
It was so awesome.
Our church pastor invited American pastor to come to their camp to preach for this year 2008.
The pastor was cute, young as a pastor, he don’t looked old, friendly, lovely, his voice are so touching..omg!!
Gone crazy for him..!? haha
I never met so cool pastor, thought his back ground was really dark and his life was really bad.
He was an addicted to drug, he ever become a prisoner, his mum is a prostitute, he sell drug before and he did a lot of things that very evil but of course these things are done before he minister Lord.
And now, he served the Lord for 11 year ++. Today he became a pastor and he saved a lot of soul, he was so great…
His testimonials touch a lot of people and he said to us once, that his testimonial is very dramatic and he doesn’t want us to suffer things like that as he does!
We are the son of beloved Jesus, and why he wanted us to suffer from this kind of things. AMEN?!

The title of times to battle is for the year of 2008’s camp.
It was so awesome…
I din go for the camp, thought they were allowed youth to join in but I dun wan…
Hmm
But at least I go for Friday night. One day only!
We sang happy birthday to him because his birthday is on 18th of October but we celebrate early for him lorh..
Hahaha

His preaching is really “battle” against the devil.. and battle for Kuching’s souls. AMEN?
Learned a lot of things thought only one night.
His preaching touched me a lot,
His ministry really great..
Through my eyes, I can saw that God really love him, and God is always be with him..
Because of his humble,, maybe?!
I wish I could be like him oneday..
I wish I could do something for God one day,
I wish I could do something like pastor did today,
I wish I could help others,
I wish I could help elderly people laugh because of Jesus,
I wish I could help elderly people cry because of Jesus,
I wish, I wish, I wish, and I wish..
But this is only my wish…
I wish I could do many many things for God,
And everything seems hard.
I was too pride for myself,
I can’t anything well,
I don’t have the responsibility like others,
I wish I could, I really wish I could,
But it fails me…
Without responsibilities I can’t served God well,
And a lot a lot a lot more…

I know I’m weak in God,
I know that I am nothing in His eyes,
But how I need to do, to strengthen my life in Him,

I knew His way, is hard, is tough..
But I just wanna go His way..
But why!? Why?!
WHY AM I SO WEAK!?

Hmm…

I will served the Lord, almighty Lord one day,
I will and it will happen in the future or maybe now..
Just dun let the fire in me get redeems..
AMEN..!?

I’ve got my result.! FINALLY !
hmm,, thought not really satisfied but thanks God…
i get a good result also…
but i have to say la,, i didn’t learned but still can get this high marks..

All is because of God,, AMEN…!?

and thanks also to the lecturer who give easy question and easy to gain marks question..

Woohoo..!?

Oops…
no offences!!

Two exam just pass by,
and i need to learned for something new again and again…

haiz,,

i still remember the 1st time i went to law lecture.
i was fall asleep but i really enjoy the class coz i love this subject at first,
den i find it really hard to understand..
Anyway, thanks to Mr.Markson.. He teach really well..
He likes to link the problem,, haiz..
link here link there… made my brain also abit siaw siaw khi..!?
but still ok larh.. at least i can understand..

owh ya, the third time i attend lecture hall i feel like my brain is already full
example: 2GB pendrive is full and now i don’t know how to extent my pendrive into 4GB or either 8GB ler…

Hahaha!

i GET A OK RESULT LE…!
MUAHAHAHA “happy”

this is my Law result..! 32 over 50 not bad le larh…!
Hopefully the next time i can also can get this mark..!? SO GREAT

my account’s result..! thought full marks only 20 marks… but i get 16.40
haiz

abit AM TUI
coz i really expect abit more, and maybe more and more..!?
hmm,,
anyway,, this is a nice try..!?
at least i learned that i need to be humble,
not humble like give you everything i’ve got..
but humble within me…!

i am pride of my accounting,
and i am so trust that me myself are able to get high mark even dun have study..
coz i have the basic, when i’m in secondary school..
i learned account and this is why..!?

and i experienced before how is the pride and humble happen on me..!?
and now i’ve got 16.40 , i knew i can get a higher mark…
but it fails..
hmm..!

NVM

i will try again at this saturday.
Coz this saturday is accounting’’s exam again..!

HAHAHA

PRAY FOR ME YA.!
I needa pray for myself also..